Frankly, relationships tend to be superficial, and many things that are necessary for a relationship, such as care, attention, interest, appreciation, and sacrifice, are not done. Even when someone does these things, they go unnoticed, and their value isn't appreciated. In fact, even the simplest thing like communication becomes very difficult. Sentences are short and simple. There's no explanation or detail. The desire seems limited to direct material gain or sexual curiosity and the urge to have an orgasm. It's experienced in an excessively bad and simple way.
| Man disillusioned by the perceived lack of appreciation and superficiality of many women |
Let me write a few very common examples to make it clearer:
Let's say the other person sees our writings online, is impressed, and sends a message to meet. So far, it's normal and nice. However, when doing this, they only write "hello" or "hi" in their message. Actually, at that moment, we make an inference in our minds and give them a future grade, but we still reply so as not to be rude. Because we understand that people who write such short messages will mostly speak with very simple sentences (and frankly, those showing signs of low intelligence) consisting of yes, no, or three or four words in the continuation of the conversation. Nevertheless, I think that everyone should be approached with a certain amount of tolerance and politeness, and for this reason, we continue the conversation. I am sincere, heartfelt, honest, and straightforward, as it comes naturally to me. I'm also a bit curious, which is another matter.
Even though I can't fully know the other person's purpose in writing – although I can usually understand, let's just say I want to be sure in case – the normal getting-to-know-you process begins. I act friendly in my own way. Despite this, as if we've already started a relationship, the other person directly skips the introduction and development and brings up the topic of sexuality. At that point, it's disappointing to see how shallow and superficial it can be.
Another common example: this time, another girl sends a message to meet. Instead of a short, single word, she at least forms sentences that express herself nicely in 1-2 lines. She seems more knowledgeable, cultured, and intelligent..
We chat like this for a few days. Then, when we move on to more personal questions as if we're starting to flirt, disagreements immediately arise regarding life views, belief in horoscopes, religious beliefs, and sexuality. Let's say these don't happen and we find common ground. Still, in most cases, unbalanced, impulsive, and illogical behaviors slowly start to emerge. As a result, another disappointment.
Third example: a high-quality, special person appears who is knowledgeable, cultured, above average intelligence, can form long sentences, and is thoughtful (for example, they write and inform you when they're going somewhere, they give their full attention to the person they want to meet while chatting, and if we ask them a question, they answer it, just like we answer when they ask us a question, etc.). Moreover, a high percentage of compatibility, which maybe only exists in 1 out of 200 people, is achieved with them. When this happens, of course, one becomes curious. One feels happy thinking, For a long time, someone both intelligent and with good character, refined, and even with whom my sexual fantasies align very well, has come my way.
However, very soon, while everything is going well, they can suddenly become overly sensitive (for example, on the first day of their period or because they got upset by someone else outside) and have a jealousy crisis for a truly ridiculous reason. In this situation, despite all warnings and tolerance, they ruin the good thing they started with their own weakness of character.
So, having a partner who is both intelligent and cultured, knowledgeable and has good character, and on top of that, compatible with us, is statistically already a very difficult thing. Despite this – for people who are somewhat known or have a wide circle of acquaintances – even the most suitable candidate who meets the criteria we might like, appearing once every few months, doesn't bring peace and causes disappointment. Whereas they themselves had wanted to "get closer." Afterwards, they either disappear or create pointless arguments and fights, crossing the line and ruining everything.
Because of the disappointment experienced even with those who meet so many criteria, for ridiculous reasons, even the most open-minded among us lose the desire. We get tired of relationships and find them exhausting and absurd.
*of course, people with low expectations and those who live a more normal lifestyle (instead of a BDSM D/s relationship, for example) have an easier time.
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